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This post complements last week’s post on “How to Feel Accomplished.”
I am…making nutritious meals for my family.
I am not…posting a lot of blog posts with the recipes for said meals.
I am…cleaning my house (adequately enough).
I am not…decorating it to the nines.
The pictures in this post were taken about a month ago, when Hadassah was five months old.
I am…changing lots of diapers.
I am not…doing “day in the life” stories on Instagram.
I am…doing laundry and folding it eventually.
I am not…sewing myself new dresses.
I am…mothering my daughter and being a wife.
I am not…pursuing my career and building my brand.
I am…making and capturing memories.
I am not…posting regularly on Facebook.
I am…sending cards (thank you, birthday, encouragement) to people in the mail.
I am not…replying to all blog and social media comments (but I do read them all and appreciate each and every one!).
I am…getting groceries for my family.
I am not…cleaning the basement and garage.
I am…clipping Hadassah’s daggery fingernails every couple of days.
I am not…routinely keeping up with my eyebrows.
I am…making an effort to take a walk or run on the treadmill most days of the week.
I am not…journaling every day.
I am…prioritizing Bible study.
I am not…keeping up with social media notifications.
I am…rocking my baby to sleep.
I am not…reading a chapter of my book in bed before leisurely turning the light off.
I am…feeding my baby when she wakes up hungry during the night.
I am not…getting a full night of sleep.
Every day I am playing with my daughter, feeding her, changing her, sometimes bathing her, meeting all her needs.
I am not my own independent person anymore.
Sometimes I miss that person. But not usually.
Would I like to be doing a lot of the things I am not doing? Yes, yes I would.
Do the “I ams” and “I am nots” always have to be mutually exclusive? No. But for me, right now, in this season of life, they often are. I have to set boundaries for myself or I’ll get caught up in the wrong priorities.
Right now this also means choosing between writing blog posts at the expense of responding to comments. Do I wish I could do both? Of course! But one can’t do everything, and my online time is limited, so I have to choose.
As I look through the list above I ask myself, “Will I regret not doing all the things I don’t have time for right now?”
No, no I won’t. I’ll never regret prioritizing my family over my career. I’ll never look back in twenty years and say wistfully, “I wish I would have spent more time on Instagram stories.” When I’m forging strong relationships with my adult children (Lord willing) and laughing at the antics of my grandchildren, I don’t think I’ll even regret the sleepless nights of young motherhood.
I’m accomplishing what I need to accomplish right now. That reminds me of Luke 10:42 –
“But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”
Taken out of context, yes, but if you read the surrounding verses I think you’ll see that the principle is the same. Prioritize the enduring and you will have no regrets, even if you don’t meet the world’s definition of success.
It’s worth giving something up to get the real thing.
What about you?
What are you prioritizing? What does balance look like in your life? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
My Approach to Social Media and Comments
As much as I enjoy blogging and interacting with all of you special people, I don’t want to spend my life on my computer or phone at the expense of my family. I’ve had to really limit my posting to social media to make time for any blogging at all, and I just can’t get around to responding to comments like I used to! I wasn’t able to completely catch up on Facebook stuff until six months after Hadassah was born, and even then I’m sure I missed a bunch of stuff.
I do try to respond to emails, and blog comments are always held for moderation so I see and approve each and every one, answering questions if necessary. If you have something important to tell or ask me, please do it through the contact form here on my website or in a blog comment, that way I will definitely see it. 🙂 Facebook and Instagram comments are great too, but I probably won’t always see them and questions may get missed.
On the same note, email is the best way to keep current on my blog posts! Facebook and Instagram only show my posts to a fraction of the people who follow me. Not the mention the fact that social media platforms come and go. There are so many new ones up and running even just in the last six months, and I really don’t have time to keep up with all that, so for now I’m focusing on my blog and email newsletter list – the things that I actually “own.” If you’re on my newsletter list, you’ll see my emails (unless they end up in your junk folder for some reason), and you can always unsubscribe at any time. You can sign up for my emails right here if you’re interested.
You may also enjoy…
Welcome to motherhood! Enjoy every single moment with your daughter. They grow up much too quickly, as you will soon discover. Then, if you are lucky, you’ll get to be a grandmother, which is absolutely wonderful, too! 🥰
In a wink my children are in their early 20s and I chose very similarly to you. I’m glad I did. Thank you for sharing your gifts and living a godly life of love. You’re a rare beauty today. I’ve appreciated your recipes for several years! Wow❣️❣️❣️
This is a list we would all do well to create, throughout the various seasons of life. If we think it through, we can a) be intentional about our lives and b) not feel guilty or harbor regret. These are worthwhile missions regardless of age or life stage. Thank you for sharing!
Congratulations on your precious little one! She is darling and definitely looks like her daddy! I am nearing the empty nest stage of my mothering journey with three teenaged boys and want to say you are doing absolutely the right thing in prioritizing things as you are. Sometimes I got it right but more often than not I missed the mark. When my youngest was 2 I quit my “job” to be a stay at home mom and homeschool the kids. Then I fell into the “I’m not working so I have time to…” trap which included watching other people’s kids, working for the church, being a caregiver for two very close relatives for the last couple of years of their lives on this earth then unfortunately spending a few more years in a deep depression over the loss of those relatives. I feel like I missed a lot of what I meant to be there for…my kids. They grew up. If I could do it over again I would have said “no” to outside things a lot more and not felt guilty about it. The church responsibilities were a good thing but very time consuming and someone else could have done it but I felt guilty every time I tried to quit. I would NOT have changed taking care of family members when they needed me but I certainly wish I hadn’t lost three more years to depression. So here I am with three teens, the oldest of which has one more year before college and am resolving that since I can’t turn back time I will make the most of every day with them from here on. I had not been on your blog in over a year and am trying to restart some healthy habits and take better care of myself so decided to look you up again and felt like I was catching up with an old friend reading about all that has happened in your life. So happy for you. ❤️ Blessings to you and your sweet little family. I am sure everyone is telling you this but it is so true…cherish every moment because one day you blink and it’s gone.
Thank you for sharing your heart, Melissa. Blessings to you as you start fresh. <3
I love this Briana and I am doing similarly! Blessings!
Those black and white photos are precious!
Love this! 5 kids and this year we decided to homeschool because God strongly showed us. I was just at the point after 17 years of being a mom, where all 5 would be at school and I would have quiet, me time, and possibly pursue a part time job. I had to die to myself and it wasn’t easy. But oh my gosh the rewards!!! Spending all day with these curious minds is a gift. My house is messier and noisier but they are all playing, working on sibling bonds, and our family faith life is stronger. I admit a few times a week I am tempted to compare myself to moms who are homeschooling and also working and managing it all (or at least seem to be!). I deleted ig and fb and have found a lot more peace and you’ve inspired me to pray more!! I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time comparing or wishing everyone older because time is flying but I thank God He is continually showing me how to die to myself and find true joy!
Thank you Briana for sharing this very important post with us. I am so happy for how the Lord has blessed you and your dear family.
My daughter, Jessica, is turning 36 this year and I will never regret the time I spent with her instead of my needs. At 62 years of age, it is a blessing to look back and to have had the experience of seeing her grow and develop all of the wonderful gifts the Lord God gave her as she grew. Jessica gave her life to Christ when she was 14. Today she is a beloved daughter, wife to Claud, an English and French teacher, she has been gifted with a beautiful voice in which she uses to sing praises to God. One prayer she has is to be a mom. The Lord has closed her womb thus far. After 6 years she and her husband have been approved to become adoptive parents. They are waiting for a match in the Lord’s timing. Thank you for this opportunity to share how wonderful our God is and His great love for those who will believe on his only begotten Son for salvation.
Enjoy every moment with your beautiful family and thanks once again for showing us the love of Christ in your life, sound advice, recipes, and everything you have shared with us.
Thank you Briana for always sharing your heart with us! I am on a journey to get healthier for our future children and have felt the same pull. I am prioritizing the right things even if in the world’s eyes I’m missing the mark. God has us in a particular season for a reason. I love seeing and reading that you are doing well! Blessings to you and yours sis!
Independent personhood over sacrificial motherhood has always been a choice/struggle, even before the invention of the internet and social media platforms! You’ve succinctly stated those choices and you are correct, you will have no regrets!
Perfectly worded!
I really loved this message. It really makes me think about how I spend my time. Even though my son is 16 and busy, I still need to take captive the time I am spending on things that don’t matter or things that don’t benefit my family. Thank you for sharing. I love reading what you’re up to. I know you are a wonderful mom.
Blessings to you. Yes, you are choosing the right things. Love to your family 💖
I’m so proud of you Briana. Your priorities are correct. My 2 children are both in their 40s and I cherish the memories I have devoting myself to being their momma! God bless you always!
Absolutley a beautiful blog and so needful for me and so many other moms today. Thank you for keeping the first things first. We love you! 🥰😍
Just like I love y’all. 😉
You will never be sorry for putting your Children first. They grow up soooooo quickly and you can never get back those Precious firsthand Moments. In years to come when you look at the many pictures you have taken over the years, you will recall some of the Most Wonderful Times in your Life because you were “Present in That Moment” with your Child.
Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts. As I carry my 3 month old for the third nap today, even though she is my 5th child, it is still good to be reminded of what’s important in this short season.
I love reading your blog, and was overjoyed to hear that you’d had a sweet baby girl! What a beautiful and precious gift. Blessings to you! ❤️
You CAN have it all; just not all at once. I love seeing pics of beautiful Hadassah.
Congratulations on the wonderful new season in your life (wayyyy behind on email and social news!) Hadassah is beautiful and looks so happy and engaged with the world. I loved your list of what you are doing and not doing … and imo any day as a new mom that you take a shower *or* comb your hair, let alone both, is impressive! My boys are high school and college age now, but I vividly remember being a new parent, and I have zero regrets for all the things that didn’t get done. You are a blessing and an inspiration.
And Hadassah is SUCH a beautiful little girl! <3 <3 I love her facial expressions…her personality is definitely coming out!! She seems like such a cute, spunky sweetie 🙂
Wow…everything you are doing, Briana, is absolutely essential <3 We can't do everything at once, and certain things have to go to make room for more important/pressing things. 🙂
I learned some of that a year ago recovering from a very severe case of the flu. I never get sick since I've been eating healthier on THM, working out, taking vitamins…but I got real sick then! The recovery process was so taxing on my mind and body. I tried to resume my part time job outside of the home and quickly realized that I simply COULD NOT do everything like I'd been doing before coming down with the flu. Sometimes my body felt so drained but my mind was fantastic, and not 30 minutes later my body felt like it had all the energy in the world– but my brain couldn't think…it was like a constant, emotional, impossibly sleepy fog. The Lord helped me realize that I could only do one thing at a time– there was little if Any multitasking. I had to really work on being patient with myself for not being able to take a phone order, complete an order, etc etc etc While doing something else. Good learning 🙂
Every bit of what you are doing is incredible and your future self will thank you for making time to pour into your daughter, your husband, your family and home…all that God has given you <3
Right now, my whole family's lives are sort of in limbo mode. I'm doing my senior year of college, working part time, starting to sell my coloring book, and just trying to keep alive…my grandmother recently fell and is recovering from a broken hip (she's doing better), but for weeks at a time half/parts of my family made 5 hour trips to go help her out. My Dad's work takes him out of town a lot more now than previously, and my boss just fell and broke her hip and is recovering so 2 of my younger siblings and I are helping keep her business going while she's out. I'm learning that I can't write like I want to, work on illustrating & art like I want to, or help out in all of the ways I wish I could…I can only do so much! So I just try to tackle one thing at a time. One. And get that done as much as time will allow for, and then move on to the next task. So, I guess that's my *balance* right now!
You're doing great, Briana!! This takes courage to do what you're doing. Courage & strength in the Lord! <3
Your daughter is adorable, and you are completely right-on. I love your perspective, and agree with those who say that you will not regret living this way. My oldest ( of 8) is 20, and my youngest is a special needs 2 year old. Life with littles was a bit simpler 20 years ago before all we all had phones and social media. You are so wise to set limits. I find myself doing the same thing, often ignoring social media for long periods of time. I don’t always do this perfectly, but I am often reminded of how fast the years have passed with my oldest children. To everything there is a season. There are even seasons within seasons, if that makes sense… I spent many years having babies and nursing throughout the night. That is the not the season to take on all the extras… but there were seasons within that season where I was getting more sleep and involved in other things.
Keep listening to the holy spirit, and let him guide the flow of your days.
You are a very wise young woman, mother and wife. How blessed all of us are, your family included, to learn of your adventures, your little family, your life. You have it together!
I am proud to see you have your priorities in order, you won’t regret it later. The importance of family will be utmost.
Thank you for this reminder. This peek into your days is an encouraging reminder of what is important. The photos of Hadassah are wonderful! I love seeing how she has grown and her fun expressions.
I affirm you in putting your family first. Time goes so fast and then they are gone. I am in the “gone” stage and I value the memories I have of being a stay home mom with my sons. Yes, they now make their own decisions but I know for a fact that those decisions are made with the values and faith that I had the great privilege of instilling in them.
Your daughter is beautiful. Her pictures make me smile.
I love this post! I’m the mom of a special needs preschooler and often feel like I am getting nothing done! But this helped me put things into prospective.
Oh, how I needed to see this today! I am really struggling with juggling all the things right now. I have also chosen to put my son first (he’s 8). I can definitely say that I haven’t missed social media in this process of being more present and in the moment.
My life looks much different from yours – single mom, working full time out of necessity, but the need to prioritize is the same, nonetheless. I’ve also been a stay at home, home-school mom, and I can honestly say that I felt like I had less time to get stuff done when I was home full time. You are always so scripturally sound and I love hearing your insight. Keep making those good choices – and inspiring all of us to better things. 🙂
Amen and amen. Your priorities are perfectly in line with God’s Word and I can say , as a pastor’s wife for almost 45 years, mother of 7 and grandmother of 19, it works!!! There will be regrets, we are human, but the blessings abound!!!!!
very well said – prioritize your life with what really matters the most
Just be sure to keep enjoying your baby girl she will be grown up fast!
Trust me I raised 4 there was Lot I did and did not do…they are all grown upand I am retired from teaching and still have some dos and some don’ts
Hadassah is very expressive! I suspect even mire so when she begins to talk!
She’s been jabbering a lot the last few days…I have a feeling she’s going to be a chatterbox!
Dearest Briana,
It is apparent to me that you are a Proverbs 31 wife which guarantees excellent care for your new family. There are no regrets listed there. Be blessed and thoroughly enjoy your family.
You are doing the right thing at this time in your life. I enjoy all that you have to say, and when you ‘say’ it , I read it. However, never feel guilty or pressured for doing anything other than what you have stated you are prioritizing right now. I am 56 years old, I have 7 children ranging from 28 to 15 with a beautiful granddaughter and dedicated son-in-law. I remember, vaguely, living without a full night’s sleep for a long time, but I don’t remember that specifically, or feel the totally worn-out existence after a full night of activity. You will never regret what you are doing now, later in life. Keep it up. When you have time to write another blog, I look forward to reading it. Peace!
Thank you, Julia! <3
You are doing all the things you need to do – and God is pleased which is the most important. I love the pics of Hadassah – she’s a beauty! Keep doing what you are doing – I am a Grandmom and Mom and your perspective seems right on point to me.
Hey- I am 67 years (young)😁- right on, enjoy your baby to the max- mine are 42 & 37. 4 beautiful grands , Time flies swiftly, embrace every moment- — enjoy your post & updates🌹. Blessings- Ann
So refreshing to hear, Briana! Those of us who have already raised our children know how quickly these years fly by. Savor every moment with your precious daughter!
Hadassah is a beautiful baby. Her eyes are gorgeous for sure! Enjoy her while she is young. She will be grown in such a short amount of time.
You are spending this precious time very wisely. You will remember the sleepless nights of motherhood very fondly and reflect back on your time with your children as you hold your grandchildren. They are only young once so enjoy every milestone. As for me, I have slowed my life down to prepare for wherever my journey takes me for the next season of my life.
I think slowing down in today’s world is almost always the right choice.
It sounds as though you are doing your best. When you cross the line to parenting you have entered a new era. Although you are cast into the role of parent, God uses this time as parent training. As long as He comes first, your husband comes second and your children come next in that order, you can’t go too wrong. As the parent of three married homeschooled children and grandmother of 17 homeschooled grandchildren, I am not wise, just more experienced.
Be encouraged! God bless you and your family!
“Parent training.” I love that. I’ve experienced quite a bit of schooling in the last six months and I think there’s a lifetime to come!
She is so lovely and has the most adorable smile! I’ve always said: dishes/laundry/email/garage cleaning/whatever will still be there tomorrow. Maybe a little deeper, but today – TODAY – is the ONLY day my child will be this old, is the ONLY day I am given to nurture my family and husband. I am not given foreknowledge of what the future will be, but God has given me this day – TODAY.
Yes, that is SO true. We have no idea what the future holds. I don’t want to live with regrets!
You are keeping first things first, and that’s the most important thing you can do. Enjoy motherhood…those babies grow up much too quickly! Sure did smile through all the gorgeous pictures of your sweet darling! Thanks for sharing…and inspiring. God bless you richly.
Thank you for the encouragement, Marsha!
Cutest baby ever! Those eye; those blue eyes captivate. I am reminded of a line in a poem ……”quiet down cobwebs. Dust go to sleep. I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.” As my child number 6 (last child) prepared to marry and leave home I prayed to remember. All those things I put on the back burner every time I had a baby. It worked. God sent me back those ideas and He will you. Just enjoy every moment. You will get to all those other things soon enough.
That is such a neat thought – that with the changing of seasons you can now go back and do those things. Thank you for the reminder!
Perfect! One blessed family (and gorgeous baby pictures)!
Enjoy your family. Children grow up so fast!!
You have your priorities straight! I’m going to show this to my daughter, who had her first baby (and my only grandchild) last Sunday. She needs to know that she’s not alone in making her baby and hubby number one in her life. Good plan, kiddo!(please know that I call anyone under 58 kiddo. It’s not meant to be demeaning in any way. I’m just old!)
Haha…I’ll take that as a compliment, Renee. 😉 Congratulations!!! I know you’ll make a wonderful grandmother.
As a mom of 8, 20 years old to a newborn, I have thoroughly enjoyed and absolutely needed your last two blog posts! Thank you for taking the time to minister to others. You are wise beyond your years!
How you have been blessed! I think it would be so neat to see such a broad range of ages interacting at once.
You are doing just fine and you’re priorities are correct: God and your family. Yes, I love hearing about your life when you have the time to post but I also understand priorities. I miss the days of snuggling my baby (she’s 32 now). May God continue to Bless you, Dr. Ryan, and your beautiful baby!
You have a beautiful child. I’m so glad to see someone putting their family first rather than hours of re-decorating their home for every season with everything Hobby LObby has on the shelves. Enjoythis time. It can never be retrieved. May God bless you and your family.
Thank you, Ann! <3 Not saying I don't love Hobby Lobby. 😛 But I also don't like to have a bunch of things sitting around to dust....